Module One

self

 

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Before you can run, you’ve got to learn how to walk.

You’ve seen this play out before, likely in recent years on your own living room floor. Whether you’ve had your creative business for a while or you’re just starting out, the most efficient way to rewrite the relationship you’ve created in your life between being a mom and an entrepreneur is to start with a solid foundation and mindset.

Think of the Three Little Pigs. While the first two brothers were lazy and wanted to skip ahead of all the work to spend their days dancing and singing, the third little pig recognized the value of building his house out of bricks.

Is your creative business built out of sticks, straw, or bricks?

In this module, you’ll be answering critical questions like “How do I make time for a business?” and “What do I do when my work/life balance feels out of sync?”. Discovering for yourself the tools and perspective a creative business owner has at their disposal will have you much better poised to tackle all aspects of running your business with intention, which means you’ll be more efficient, and spend less time away from your family, but without compromising the progress and momentum you’ve built up for your business so far.

 
 

Entrepreneurship is not a race. Work slowly and intentionally, when you’re able.

Start where you can, with what you have.

We all know just how draining the comparison game can be. Never compare your starting line to someone else’s middle of their journey or finish line. You have your own unique set of skills and traits that are going to craft a business that is uniquely yours, and if you spend too much time thinking about the places you wish you were, you’ll never get a solid enough footing now to make much headway.

Instead, focus on the things you can control. Play the “long game," setting yourself up for greater success later with the following:

  • Using your time wisely

  • Carving out a physical space for your work

  • Surrounding yourself with good energy from supporters

  • Developing impactful habits

  • Setting goals that serve you

Each of these strategies is going to be a personal play, just like each of the Three Little Pigs built their own house. Your mindset and perspective on your creative business are unlike anyone else’s, but it’s important for you to establish this foundation before you begin building.


TIME MANAGEMENT

If there is one thing I struggled with most when starting my business, it was learning how to find the time to spend on it without taking away from my time with my family. It felt like I only had two options:

  1. Sacrifice time with my family and money to pay for babysitting, or

  2. Start slower, with less growth and development, which felt like I was missing opportunities.

I totally understand this struggle, and, while you may consciously be debating between and ultimately choosing one of these two options, it’s really important that we talk about ways to leverage any time you already have available so the disparity between these two options isn’t as great.

You’ve got mornings and evenings when your kids are down. You’ve got nap times. You’ve got waiting periods in the parent pick-up line or the side of the pool during swim lessons. Even if you don’t choose to prioritize outsourcing childcare or paying for help (because that’s definitely a luxury not available to all), you’ve still got TIME. It’s just up to you to figure out how you’re going to spend it.

Here are a few important reminders that help me when I’m feeling overwhelmed or out of balance:

  1. Take breaks as often as you need. Give yourself grace if you don’t make it out of bed before the kids do. Choose to devote some of your work time to reading a personal development book this week instead of taking on more clients. Your sanity and ability to show up in all areas of your life are more important than the speed of your entrepreneurial progress.

  2. Plan everything out ahead of time. It’s hard to motivate yourself to get things done in the moment. Make your to-do list the night before. Book all your self-care time/appointments for the next several months in advance so you feel guilty for wasting someone’s time if you were to miss them. Create repeating events in your calendar that preserve time for you to do things that bring balance to your life, like reading, exercising, sleeping in, or taking some alone time.


YOUR ENVIRONMENT

Another way to create some boundaries and balance in your life is to establish a physical environment or routine that continues to serve your family while also allowing you to create freely.

For some people, that looks like a dedicated workspace in their garage or office, or simply a tote in their bedroom that they pull out whenever it’s time to “work”. It might also mean you think through your daily schedule and determine how to organize your family’s calendar around the use of certain spaces.

When my kids were little and could play by themselves, but needed supervision, I made sure their toys were in an area where I had a comfortable chair or couch to work in. Even now, when they’re older and can roam the house unsupervised, I still enjoy working near them and find myself working from a couch more often than our dedicated office space.


FRIENDS + FAMILY

When it comes to the people you bring into your space and spend time with, always seek opportunities to learn. We all offer something unique to society, so by surrounding yourself with creative, ambitious people as a sort of guardrail to keep you on the right path, you’ll discover new ways to grow.

I’ve heard lots of variations on this concept:

  • “You become a combination of the five people you spend the most time with.”

  • “If you hang out with five millionaires, you’ll become the sixth. And if you hang out with five losers, you’ll also become the sixth.”

The idea is that you’re not on this journey alone. There are people in your corner along for the ride with you (like your immediate family, close friends, etc.) but you also have an opportunity to join a community of creatives who are ready to raise you up. Find ways to collaborate with people who are better at things than you, and you’ll find yourself growing and developing as well.

A quick note about working with friends + family: Most people will tell you to avoid going into business with people you know very well. I am firmly on the opposite side of that discussion — I believe that entrepreneurship provides the perfect vehicle for deepening your connection to those you love and allowing you both to find joy and fulfillment.

However, there is one key ingredient that needs to be present for this sort of collaboration, and that’s respect. You must have respect for each other. You’re putting too much time, effort, and expense into your creative endeavors for them all to come crashing down over some petty disagreements or misunderstandings.

If you have respect for each other’s time, that means you don’t set unreasonable deadlines or require an immediate response. If you respect each other’s investment of both effort and money, that means you do honest, quality work and don’t waste the opportunities you’re creating together.

Once you can confirm you’re on the same page, move forward with confidence and rejoice in the blessing of getting to make money alongside a dear friend!


TINY HABITS

Creating habits and schedules is a way of automating your life so things get done without you having to devote too much brainpower to completing them. This allows you to devote your time and efforts to something else, meaning you prioritize how you’re spending your time differently.

Habits shape your identity.

It’s not about checking a box each day or adding more to your to-do list — habits are actually identity-forming, allowing you to get one step closer to the person you want to be or the identity you want to carry. And when you implement small and simple habits that you keep for a long time, they compound into exponential growth. You don’t have to start any sort of big, ambitious routine that alters your day-to-day life drastically. Start small, with a tiny tweak to your existing routine, and just continue to tweak it.

Soapbox moment: Society presents the image of a frazzled mom as if it’s unavoidable. But I truly believe that if you’re feeling too busy, disorganized, and always short on time, it’s because you’re prioritizing the wrong things. If you think of yourself as overrun, then that’s what you’ll be. Instead, think of it this way:

Your actions shape your reality.

Consider some small and manageable new habits to start implementing that will bring you closer to the identity you want to have. These small changes will compound over time to put you in a better place next month, next year, or five years into the future.

Implement habits to help you become the type of person you want to be. Choose to focus on continuing and refining the efforts that serve you. Here are a few ideas for new habits to adopt:

  • Determine how much time you could benefit from in the mornings, before your family is up, and start getting up that much earlier than them. Shifting your bedtime forward just one hour and getting up one hour earlier each day could be the key to making big strides in your business, without sacrificing your much-needed sleep!

  • Do more things to help you keep up your energy, like drinking more water, eating less junk food, and prioritizing your own health and wellness. A well-balanced business owner and mom/leader of the family sets an example by taking care of herself first so she can perform well in her other roles.

  • Always be on the lookout for ways you can speed up a process in your business or add new value by developing your skills. Establish a routine that allows for reflection on what works and what doesn't, so you can nail down some concrete changes to implement or develop templates for things you do on a recurring basis.

  • Set a standard for yourself of how much work you’re willing to do unpaid by your business each day, and try to be as productive as possible before you hit that time limit. Another characteristic of successful business owners is that they know what they’re worth and when it’s not appropriate to work for free!

A really great strategy for implementing new habits is to consider habit stacking, which James Clear talks about in his book Atomic Habits (one of my favorites — highly recommended!).

Habit stacking is the strategy of implementing new habits and pairing them with things you’re already doing, actions that are already part of your routine. Here are a few examples:

  • Drinking a glass of water every day right when you wake up. Waking up is unavoidable, so you’ll be sure to drink an extra glass of water daily.

  • When you have a negative interaction with a family member, spend a couple of minutes focusing on something new and positive to bring you out of the discomfort or frustration of the action. This might not happen daily, or it might happen several times in one day.

  • Every time you leave your kitchen, grab something that doesn’t belong there and return it to whatever room you’re headed to next.

In Atomic Habits, we learn that when we are too consumed with the end goal and how different and wonderful our lives will be on the other side, we start to lose the ability to feel any sort of achievement or pride in our current state. I really connected with this concept and the author’s revelation that instead of setting goals to get us where we want to be, we should look at the type of identity belonging to someone who achieves those sorts of goals. What are the characteristics of a successful business owner? What sort of things does a woman who has both a business and a family do? When does she get up in the morning? How does she prioritize her time?

Start implementing habit stacking immediately by developing a morning routine. You don’t have to be a “morning person” to have a morning routine! It can be as little or as much as you can handle, in your current season.

My friend Andrea Wilde (@livebig.littlegirl) shares a really wonderful morning routine that she calls L.I.V.E. B.I.G. Each letter in the acronym stands for a short activity (L = literature, E = exercise, G = gratitudes, etc.).

Click below to download a Morning Routine Habit Stacking Activity that will help you brainstorm how you can shape your morning to help you be more successful, in a way that’s sustainable and achievable for you.

 

GOALS THAT SERVE YOU

We’ve all heard of various frameworks for goal setting and “rules” to follow to make sure you reach your goals.

The reality is that goals aren’t motivating in and of themselves.

Once you reach them, there is just another goal to set, and your feelings of fulfillment and success tend to get caught up in whether you’ve “made it” to your end goal or not. The real value of goals is the person you become while striving to reach them and the opportunity for growth that affords.

Consider where you want to end up. Are you dreaming of attracting a high-end clientele? Is your mission to provide high-value offerings for low-budget consumers? Do you envision a storefront on Main Street or a thriving basement-run online boutique?

By considering your end goal, and then walking that back a few steps, you can base your immediate decisions on where you need to be in the coming months. It’s a lot less daunting than simply “dreaming big” and operating blindly.

“Walking back” from my goals is a trick I use to make sure I’m not setting unrealistic expectations, but still pushing myself and not getting complacent.

Below, you’ll be able to download my Backwards Goals activity. This activity might take you anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour, but you can also choose to reflect on it for several days (my recommendation). Starting with the end in mind will allow you to determine your next steps intentionally, and achieve real progress within your business.

Ultimately, getting yourself ready to be an entrepreneur as a stay-at-home mom will take a bit of work but will lay a solid foundation for your future growth. Your brick-laden home will be all set when the wolf comes a-knocking.

If, after you’ve finished your Backwards Goals, you’re feeling overwhelmed about what’s next and all that you’ll end up achieving in order to make it to your stated destination, I have a few critical reminders for you:

  1. Start with what you know. Don’t feel pressured to tackle the most overwhelming, new-to-you aspect of running a business. Just begin wherever you can at this point.

  2. Forget your need to have everything perfect. Perfectionism is the best friend of procrastinators and people who end up getting burned out and giving up.

I’m a struggling-to-reform perfectionist myself, but would you like to know what I’ve learned about making mistakes? Doing something wrong is a much better teacher than doing something right. When I fail, it makes a much bigger impact on my future actions than when I succeed, and by seeking opportunities to make mistakes, I’ve been able to steer myself way further along the path to my future goals than if I were to only choose a next move where I could predict the outcome.

Let’s end this module with a productive activity to help you narrow your focus and choose what to work on next. I highly recommend choosing what you prioritize with careful planning and intention, so this Focused To-Do Lists activity will help you map out your strategy each day (or week, depending on how often you find time for your business).